If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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