epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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