I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
