I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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