She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
