No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
