I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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