You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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