I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
