How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
