marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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