you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize