Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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