no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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