i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
