He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
