you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
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I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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