Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
