I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face