Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize