is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
