It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
