So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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