Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize