About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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