nut hugger
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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