Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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