Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize