Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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