I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
