So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
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She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
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I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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