just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize