Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
this hospital has no fireball
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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