just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
