I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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