Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i dont even know how to be here
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
