I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
