just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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