He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
