how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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