I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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