i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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