New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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