i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
