final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
