No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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