I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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