AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
