talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my mouth tastes like poor choices
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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