I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.