Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
