That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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