So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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