apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
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I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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