her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
