remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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