Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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