I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
