I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
