I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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