The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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